Most people bring one of the same three things — a bottle of wine, some flowers, or a candle. They’re safe, which is why everyone brings them. Two of the three also hand your host a job at the exact moment they’ve got the least time for one.
Where the usual three go wrong
Flowers are the worst offender. You arrive, they take the bouquet, and now they have to deal with it. Find a vase. Find scissors. Trim the stems, fill the vase, clear a surface to set it on, all while the oven timer is going and someone else is at the door. You’ve handed them a job to do.
Wine is easier to receive, but it usually gets opened and shared that night, so you’ve partly brought it for yourself. If they don’t drink, it goes in a cupboard. And candles are what everyone falls back on, so anyone who hosts often already has a drawer of them. Scent is personal too — you’re guessing.
What a good one has in common
That’s the whole test. A good hostess gift shouldn’t need water, a vase, scissors, or a decision in the first five minutes. Your host should be able to say thank you, put it on the counter, and get back to the kitchen.
A potted herb does that. It’s already in its pot and it’s already fine there. Nothing to cut, nothing to arrange, nothing to find a home for while dinner is going. It also lasts past the night, which the other three don’t. The wine is gone by the time you leave and the flowers are done in a week, but the herb is still on the windowsill on a Tuesday two months later, and they’ll think of you when they pull a bit off it.
If your host cooks
Then it’s easy. Someone who cooks will get through a pot of basil quickly and be glad to have it within reach. Don’t expect it in that night’s dinner, though — they planned the meal days ago, and working your gift into it would be one more thing to do. It’s for next week.
One practical note. Basil doesn’t like the cold and blackens if it gets chilled, so don’t leave it out in a cold car while you run an errand on the way over. Keep it in the front with you.
One dinner, or a whole weekend
For a dinner, one pot is the whole thing. Hand it over, say thank you, done. You don’t have to explain it either, because the card tied on names the herb and the word it carries.
A weekend is different. You’ve been in someone’s house for two or three days, used their towels and their kitchen, and the thank-you is doing more work. Something that’s still growing on their counter a month later says it better than something finished on Sunday night. If there’s something specific you want to say, a Little Note is a note card you can have personalized, so it’s written before you get there instead of scrawled at the door.
Which herb to bring
- Parsley — Festivity. For a party, a holiday table or a birthday dinner — anywhere there’s a crowd
- Marjoram — Harmony. Good for a holiday where a few households are sharing one kitchen for the day
- Basil — Love. The one for a host who cooks, and the one they’ll use first
- Bay Laurel — Success. Slow and patient, happier dry than sodden, and it stays small. Right for a new home, or for the friend who put you up all weekend